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Academic Writing III — Revising

Revising Your Draft

Some new researchers think that once they have a draft, they’re pratically done. Experienced researchers know better. They write that first draft not for their readers but for themselves, to see whether they can present rigorous written reasoning. Then they revise until they think their draft meets the needs and expectations of their readers. That’s hard, because we all know our own work too well to read it as others will. To revise effectively, you must know what readers look for and whether your draft helps them find it. To that end, there are some mechanical steps that may help you analyze your draft objectively.

Good Practice

A good practice is to first revising overall organization, especially the “outer frame” of the introduction and conclusion; then sections, paragraphs, sentences; and finally stylistic issues such as spelling and punctuation (see another post). This is the exact order the reader reads your paper.

Many experienced researchers find that they can edit hard copy more reliably than they can edit text on a screen. Even if you prefer to edit on a screen, consider reading it at once printed version. You may catch more errors, and you’ll get a better sense of your paper’s overall structure than you can from the screen alone.

Check for Blind Spots in Your Argument

After the first draft, parts of your argument will likely still not stand up to a robust challenge. So before you spend too much time polishing sentences, check your argument’s reasoning. Have you considered the strongest relevant counterarguments? Have you looked for evidence that challenges or complicates your evidence? Have you considered alternative interpretations of your evidence? If not, now is the time. It’s always helpful to talk with your instructor or friends about where your argument overlooks likely objections.

Make Sure the Body of Your Paper is Coherent

Here are two key questions you can ask to make sure the coherence of the paper body.

  1. Do key terms run through your whole paper?
    • Circle key terms in the claim as stated in your introduction and conclusion.
    • Cicle those same terms in the body of your paper.
    • Underline other words related to concepts named by those circled terms.
      If reader don’t see at least one of your key terms in most paragraphs, they may think your paper wanders. If you underlined many more words than you circled, be sure that readers will recognize how the underlined words relate to the concepts named in your circled key terms. If readers might miss the connection, change some of those related words to the key terms.
  2. Is it clear how each section relates to the whole?
    For each section, ask, What question does this section answer? If it doesn’t help to answer questions whose answers constitue an argument, think about its relevance: does it create a context, explain a background concept or issue, or help readers in some other way? If you can’t explain how a section relates to your claim, consider cutting it.

Revising Sentences

Your final task is to make your writing as understandable as you can for your readers, for it is their judgement of your ideas that matters most. Readable writing, of course, depends on more than clear sentences, but clear sentences will go a long way toward making your writing readable. Sometimes you will know your writing is awkward, especially if you’re writing about an unfamiliar and complex topic for intimidating readers. Other times, though, you may overestimate your writing, thinking it clear when your readers won’t. Here we offer some advice on how to revise your sentences so that readers will find them clear.

Focus on First Eight Words

The key to a clearly written sentence is in its first few words. When readers grasp those first eight words easily, they read what follows faster, understand it better, and remember it longer.

Get to the Subject of Your Sentence Quickly

Compare these two sentences (subjects are boldfaced):

In view of claims by researchers on higher education indicating at least one change by most undergraduate students of their major field of study, first-year students may need better guidence when they choose a major.

Researchers on higher education claim that most students change their major field of study at least once during their undergraduate career. It that is so, then first-year students may need better guidence when they choose a major.

Most reader find the first sentence harder to read, because it makes them work though a 24-word phrase before reach its subject (first-year students). In the second sentence, readers immediately start with the subject (Researchers on higher education).

Put Key Actions in Verbs, Not in Nouns

Verbs make sentences go! Readers want to get to a verb quickly, and they also want that verb to express a key action. So avoid using an empty verb such as have, do, make, or be to introduce an action buried in an abstract noun. Please make the noun a verb.

Compare these two sentences (verbs are boldfaced):

During he early years of the First World War, the Great Powers’ attempt at enlisting the United States on their side was met with failure.

During he early years of the First World War, the Great Powers attempted to enlist the United States on their side but failed.

In the first sentence, three important actions aren’t verbs but nouns: attempt, enlisting, failure. The second sentence seems more direct because it expresses those actions in verbs: attempted, enlist, failed.

Put Information Familiar to Readers at the Beginning of a Sentence, New Information at the End.

Readers understand a sentence more readily when they grasp its subject easily, and the easiest subject to grasp is not just short and concrete but also familiar. This is so-called the “flow” between sentences. When you introduce a new term, put it at the end of its sentence. Compare these: (new terms are boldfaced)

Calcium blockers can control muscle spasms. Sarcomeres are the small units of muscle fibers in which these drugs work. Two filaments, one thick and one thin, are in each sarcomere. The proteins actin and myosin are contained in the thin filament. When actin and myosin interact, your heart contracts.

Muscle spasms can be controlled with drugs known as calcium blockers. They work in small units of muscle fibers called sarcomeres. Each sarcomere has two filaments, one thick and one thin. The thin filament contains two proteins, actin and myosin. When actin and myosin interact, your hear contracts.

In the second sentence, new terms appear towards the ends of their sentences. No principle of writing is more important than this: old before new; familiar information introduces unfamiliar information.

Use First-Person Pronouns Appropriately

Insecure writers begin too many sentences with we think or we believe (or their equivalent, In our opinion). Readers assume that you think and believe what you write, so you don’t need to say so.

Choose the Right Word

The clever selection of words can make the sentence more vivid, and more interesting to follow. However, it should be noted that many words have mutiple meanings and some are even quite abstract, giving the sentence an unfixed meaning. The uncertainty of meaning makes literature intriguing, yet in academic writing, one needs to avoid expressions that are vague or subjective.

Never use the word important. Everybody think their work is important. This word provides no information in academic writing.

This post is licensed under CC BY 4.0 by the author.

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